Purposefully Purple

Dear Delilah,

October is LGBT History Month, and today, October 20, is Spirit Day, a day inspired by a teenager who wanted to speak out against the bullying that LGBT youth face, and that has played a role in too many suicides of LGBT youth. Along with millions of others, you and I are wearing purple today in recognition of spirit day.

Delilah and Mama at our local Pride Celebration-August 2011

Your father and I involve you as much as possible in our advocacy for LGBT rights and support of the LGBT community. By outward appearances, your father and I are a straight man and a straight woman in a heterosexual marriage. While it is true that we are in a heterosexual marriage, we consider both sexuality and gender to be very fluid, and recognize that most people fall somewhere along a spectrum of sexual orientation and gender identity. We do not see sexuality and gender as black and white, and we celebrate love, regardless of what it looks like.

Where exactly your father or I fall on those spectrums isn't relevant to the topic at hand. What is relevant is that less than a week ago, another gay teen commit suicide, unable to cope with the bullying he faced daily for being openly gay. Jamie Hubley had supportive parents and loving friends, but that is not enough. As a parent, it breaks my heart to know that no matter how much I love and support you, regardless of where you end up on the spectrum of sexuality or gender, you could still be so burdened by the bullying of others that you could see ending your life as a viable option to end the pain.

That is why I speak out. That is why I correct anyone I hear referring to something undesirable as "gay" or slinging around words like "faggot" or "dyke" as insults. That is why I take you to Pride celebrations. That is why I will always be open with you about sexuality and gender, so that regardless of your own orientation or identity, you will understand that there is no "right" orientation or identity. That is why I'm wearing purple today.

Love,

Mama

**If you are an LGBT teen in need of support, please contact The Trevor Project lifeline at 866-488-7386


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