Friday, October 28, 2011

Ever Evolving Me

Welcome to the I Love Me! Carnival!

This post was written for inclusion in the I Love Me! Carnival hosted by Amy at Anktangle. This carnival is all about love of self, challenging you to lift yourself up, just for being you.

Please read to the bottom to find a list of submissions from the other carnival participants.

Dear Delilah,

In the 30-plus years I've enjoyed of this life, I have changed a lot. The most rapid and significant of those changes have taken place over the last ten years. The pace at which I have grown and changed this last decade has been uncomfortable for some people. Even your father, who embraces growth and change as much as I do, sometimes has a hard time keeping up.

Someone who is no longer a part of my life was the first to make me question this trait of mine. He told me that he didn't like how much I'd changed in the years that he'd known me. I was 26 at the time. I was bewildered by his statement. Of course I'd changed. I was 20 years old when he'd met me, just barely an adult, with hardly a clue of who I really was or what really mattered to me. I mean, I thought I knew exactly who I was and what mattered to me, but what I came to find out is that the more I learned, and the more experiences I immersed myself in, the better I got to know myself. And yes, sometimes this resulted in what may have seemed like drastic changes, but those changes felt natural to me. After all, if what I learned about the food industry and the way it treats animals didn't cause me to change my eating habits, then what was the point of learning about it? I'm not the type who can learn new information, discover that I have a strong feelings about it, and then fail to make changes to my life when there are aspects of it that directly conflict with those feelings.

Around that same time in my life, I was discussing this with a friend who said to me:

"You just move fast is all. Or maybe not fast, but you seem to always want to feel like you're moving somewhere."  
He was absolutely right. I'm not content to rest on my laurels. I am constantly learning, growing, and changing. I started to question whether that was an undesirable trait in a person, whether it was personal flaw that I should work at overcoming. What I found is that I simply can't help it. I can't help but to incorporate new experiences and information into who I am, and who I will be going forward. Sure, it means that I change hobbies as often as some people change underwear (as evidenced by the baskets and bins of various craft hobbies, the array of musical instruments, and the vast array of books in our home). It means that I sometimes make what look like hasty decisions, like quitting my well-paying, full-time, full-benefits job to go back to school. It means that sometimes your father is left scratching head, wondering where the bleach went, because I forgot to tell him that we're cleaning with vinegar and baking soda now. It means that I will change how I eat, how I live, and even how I raise you, as I learn more and as my values evolve.

I am constantly evolving. I value not only learning, but acting on what I learn. I'm glad I'm not the same person at 32 that I was at 22, and I hope that I'm not the same person at 42 that I am today. I change. A lot. I always want to feel like I'm moving somewhere. Toward something. Toward the me that I meant to be. The me that I love.



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Thank you for reading this post from the I Love Me! Carnival. Please take some time to read the contributions from the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated by the afternoon of October 28th with all the carnival links.)

  • The Art of Being Thoughtful – Becky at Old New Legacy likes that she is mostly thoughtful but wants to become more thoughtful. She shares a story that demonstrates that giving gifts doesn't have to be expensive.
  • I love me (and running)! – Sheryl of Little Snowflakes writes about her new love of running and how it has helped her learn to love herself!
  • For the Love of Moe – Valerie at Momma in Progress shares her thoughts on a body forever changed, but forever loved.
  • Where I Find My Worth – Sarah at Parenting God's Children shares how finding her worth in worldly things always falls short.
  • Oh Yeah, I'm Cool – Tree at Mom Grooves shares her very favorite gift and the thing she most wants to pass on to her daughter.
  • Loving – Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis talks about some of the things she loves about herself - some easily, and some by choice for the sake of healing.
  • caught in a landslide – jaqbuncad of wakey wakey, eggs and bakey! shares a list of reasons why zie loves hir body.
  • I Love Me! - A Rampage of Appreciation! – Terri at Child of the Nature Isle stops waiting for anyone else to tell her she is wonderful and goes on a rampage of appreciation for herself!
  • Raising Healthy Daughters – In a guest post at Natural Parents Network, Kate Wicker offers tips to pass on a healthy self-image to the young ladies in our care.
  • Unexpected Benefits of a Healthy Pregnancy – How does it feel to have a healthy pregnancy? Dionna at Code Name: Mama discovers that making positive choices can be empowering.
  • Filling Up Our Watering Cans – Nada at miniMOMist believes that practicing Sabbath is the same as being a gardener who lovingly tends to the flowers in her garden. She needs to fill up her watering can first.
  • Better Body by Baby – Jess from Mama 'Roo and Family Too! shares how having her first baby makes her feel even more beautiful and confident about her body than ever before.
  • These Breasts Were Made for Nursing – Becoming a mother helped Mandy from Living Peacefully with Children to embrace her womanhood and improve her self image.
  • Yeah, I'm Pretty Cool – Amanda at Let's Take the Metro writes about her own self love and how she hopes to foster the same self-respect in her children.
  • Who I've Become – The future is bright with That Mama Gretchen who shares her past and present perspective on body image and how she hopes to become a change agent with her daughter.
  • Ever-Evolving Me – Joella at Fine and Fair writes to her daughter about her innate drive to continue learning, growing, and evolving.
  • I love you for your mind – Lauren at Hobo Mama turns a dubious phrase on its head with a little self-loving slam poetry.
  • Stop Think of Love with Your Body – Amy of Peace 4 Parents shares an exercise to gradually transition from hating to loving your body - stretch marks, sags, imperfections, and all.
  • I Love Me! – Jenny @ I'm a full-time mummy shares the things that she loves about herself!
  • First, I'm Superwoman. Later, I'm SupperwomanPatti @ Jazzy Mama explains how she loves taking care of her amazing body. It birthed 4 children, after all!
  • Baby Strikes A Pose – Emma from Your Fonder Heart writes about her family's decision not to let their 7 month old model, and uses the opportunity to think more deeply about girls (young and old) and how they determine their self-worth.
  • Love Your Tree – How do you picture the ways your body and mind change? Amy at Anktangle writes about how trees help her have perspective about her own growth over time.
  • Pumpkin Butt – Zoie at TouchstoneZ writes about how birth and pumpkins are the way to accepting her body
  • I do love me – Shannon at Pineapples & Artichokes talks about the lessons about loving herself she wants to pass along to her daughter.
  • Appreciating Who I Am – Linni at An Unschooling Adventure describes the things she likes about herself and the way she appreciates who she is as a person.
  • I love me! : A journey – Christine at African Babies Don't Cry shares her journey on arriving at the point where she can say: I love me!
  • My Daughter Doesn't Care So Why Should I? – Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama calls herself on the carpet for the image of self love and beauty she portrays in front of her toddler.
  • Finding out who I am – Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings shares an exercise that helped her identify positive qualities she possesses, and how that has helped her learn to love herself.


  1. You sound like someone I'd want to be know better :) Really, though, isn't the point of learning to help ourselves evolve and grow? How boring life would be if we all stayed immobile!

  2. I love these letters you write to your daughter (as I'm a fan of writing letters to my son, too)! Your words and thoughts about change really resonate with me, as I feel like I have some similar tendencies (and I wrote some about growth and change today, as well). It just means that the people in our lives have to adapt and love us on the journey, through the change. Thank you for writing this; it's been very thought-provoking for me.

  3. My husband says to me that I "jump". Meaning I take an idea and before I've even thought it through, I'm already halfway through planning it. And he's right. But that's a part of who I am, same as he is a slow and calculating individual. It takes all kinds. I'm glad you're strong and mature enough to recognize that.

  4. I love this post because I too have a similiar outlook and tendancies. Resting on my laurels does not suit me. ;) I am constantly learning, changing, and evolving.

    I love the letters you write to your daughter. I keep a daily journal and know that one day we will look back at in with fondness. This is a beautiful letter and one that your daughter will learn and grow from herself one day.

    Many blessings to you!

  5. Brilliant! I was reading through this thinking - that sounds like me! Especially 'I'm not the type who can learn new information, discover that I have a strong feelings about it, and then fail to make changes to my life when there are aspects of it that directly conflict with those feelings.' I love the process of evolving and how you describe yourself. This life is an amazing journey especially when we embrace learning so fully. I'm looking forward to reading more about your journey as it continues. onelove

  6. I love change... its as good as a holiday for refreshing the soul. I too, am forever changing and can totally relate to your letter to your daughter. Thanks for sharing! :)


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